If
you're not a Yankee fan, you're a Yankee hater. You know it. They know it.
It's how America works. The Yankees are the G.O.P., the other 29 teams are
the Dems'. The Republicans will do anything they can to win. Anything. The
2000 election proves this; as they had to cheat to win. They called in favors.
They questioned every citizens "patriotism" if they didn't think
along their party line. Love the Cardinals? Like the Dodgers? Pull for the
Sox? Then you're a commie and you love Saddam. That's the Yankees.
Every year the Yanks call in these favors. Picking up key players for the
big run to the pennant to which they believe themselves entitled. They DO
own a scouting team and a minor league system, but you would never know it.
Think of the last two players to stick with the Yankees who were brought up
from the minors: Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada (not counting Rivera, cuz closers
don't count). These two guys represent the strength of their early-90's scouting
efforts; the era of their most recent ebb in league domination. Remember,
they were a second rate doormat from 1982 to 1996. The only thing they controlled
was the police blotter and the NY Post headlines. Scandal and greed brought
them there, with George Steinbrenner's complete megalomania driving the organization
into a shameful ruin. Remember Steiny's attempted smear campaign on Dave "Mr.
May' Winfield. He literally paid to have one his own highly-paid players discredited.
Never mind the long term contract and Winflield's trailblazing penchant for
charity work. This misguided ship o' fools wasn't gonna ruin itself. This
was George's job.
From year to year George overlorded the implosion of the jewel franchise in
sports. Valuable AAA and AA commodities were auctioned off for fading power-hitters
and the summer-rental of big game flame-throwers. This chipping away led to
an abyss of mediocrity, as anyone with the GM tag was essentially an errand
boy, set to acquire big names to win NOW. NOW! Eventually the Yanks were a
stringy assemblage of Balbonis, Pagliarulos and Bam-Bams. By 1990 the cupboard
was bare, and the dregs were all NY was left with.
So after nine years of reestablished strength, many of them spent completely
owning the American League, New York was once again in a position to stage
the ultimate Haves vs. Have Nots coup upon baseball: The acquisition of Randy
Johnson to compliment their All-Star rotation. Having already put Mussina
to pasture, they needed one more arm to bolster their staff of leverage-purchased
aces. With Mussina in dry-dock they ran under the assumption that the great
future Hall of Famer Randy Johnson would only naturally be theirs, because
they said so.
What they didn't take into account was that once they opened the fridge--'Hey!
I thought we had a whole crate of eggs in here!...Who took all the eggs!'
Didn't we at least have a Brandon Claussen leftover?!...oh, right. We traded
him for the guy we used to win the pennant last year and then threw away.'
If you're a Yankees fan, enjoy it while it lasts. Giambi is already on the
outs, Sheffield no longer can juice up to quickly heal his frail wrist, and
hello...you are now the proud owner of, not The Big Unit, but Esteban Loaiza.
Not familiar with Loaiza? Well, do you remember Andy Hawkins? How about Ed
Whitson?...well, he's pretty much the same. How bad is it? As a wise man recently
said: "You have C3PO playing first!'
One way to make yourself feel better during the oncoming years? Memorize this
phrase, cuz you're gonna need it: "Oh yeah, well we have 26 World Series
titles!'
Sound Created From Pressed Aluminum
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The SOVIETTES II
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TWISTED ROOTS s/t
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The FALL The Real New Fall LP Formerly 'Country
On The Click'
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CLINIC Walking With Thee
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The PONYS Laced With Romance
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The MARKED MEN On The Outside
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ENO Taking Tiger Mountain By Strategy
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MORLOCKS Emerge
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BIG BUSINESS demo cd
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[MINMAE] Licensed To Il
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GUN CLUB The Las Vegas Story